CAMERA INDUCED...YAKKING

Alright, so I am a critic of people who come in front of cameras to literally fool themselves. I don’t mean those people who play unsolicited waka pass roles in our typical nollywood videos. I mean, they just stand and stare, distorting the scene. Directors and producers must have given up on trying getting them away from the background. They shoot videos these days, hoping the audience will ignore them and focus on the major actors. Of course I also do not mean news correspondents, pushing cameras in faces of bus conductors or market women (that will be the other way round, right?).
These ones, who probably, see this as a rare opportunity for their faces to be plastered across screens, will joyfully volunteer to yak. Excessively. To be fair though, sometimes, they make sense… near-coherent statements.
No, these ones are totally forgivable. I am talking about those you see in the cinemas, malls, events, shows, and then this well dressed guy or couple of ladies gleefully embrace the camera (this is my time to shine) and when asked a question, end up thoroughly yakking, you begin to ask if they understood the question asked at all.
My favourite of all are red carpet moments. Don’t get me wrong, the carpet could be any colour; green, yellow, even indigo. Whatever, it doesn’t matter, so far I get the juicy part; who is wearing what, who said what, who came in with whom, and the whole works. For those of us who are too busy (you believe me), and constantly miss events ’cos we are working (indeed), and making money(coughing and looking sideways), these events coverage really help us , especially when friends begin to gist about what went down at the show, we don’t just blend with the gist, we speak authoritatively on the issue!
Back to the yakking spree. While some guests are extremely witty, borne out of natural intelligence or experience with cameras, others just take the cake for speaking out of line. At times, it’s a case of “Christ, did she just say ‘is’ instead of ‘was’?” and “oh, she said it again”, (and then with serious beef) “upon all the platform heels and eye shadow…hee hee.”
I have tremendously simmered down with my criticism. I am not exactly proud of what led to this but guys, I had a rare red carpet moment(or was it wine?), with a camera shoved in my face(Seriously ,they came to me , not the other way round), and I was, wait for this, stuttering! Alright, it wasn’t that bad, I stuttered just a little, just a teeny weeny bit (ah, my rep kè?). But then, the thought of my siblings and friends going, “what the heck was she saying…she was rambling…hee hee?” sounds totally uncool. Talk about having a taste of your pudding!